Monday, August 31, 2009

More Bar and Grille Stories

This image reminded of a guy that was talking about his marriage and how much fun he and his wife have. They were always trying to please each other with gifts and surprises. This was just their way of enjoying their lives together , because they were so in love and enamored with each other.
George, that is the name we will call him, because we want to protect him against reprisal, for he swore to his wife he wouldn't tell this story, began his tale. The other night , his bride asked him to come into the bedroom because she had something for him. Knowing his wife, George rushed right in and shut the door. No kids allowed, you know. Well she came out wearing nothing but a brand new pair of Delta Burke slimming underwear, she had gotten a little larger in the 18 years of wedded bliss. Well George, seeing the sight, got a little frisky. "Come over here darlin" George said," and let me get a little closer to my new gift". Well the next thing you know he was trying to get his hand between the Delta Burkes and his wife. This he accomplished, but the the pain and agony began. George said that the first thing that happened was it felt like he was losing feeling in his hand, and it got to the point that it felt like he had put his hand into the vise! He said that he began to moan and yell, all the while his wife was asking whats wrong? Whats wrong? He yelled I am losing feeling in my hand, it hurts! His wife said I told you these are slimming pants. George told her that those were torture pants and he had never felt such pain. George said " I can't get my hand out. Please help me!" His wife grabbed hold of the Delta Burkes and began to pull with both hands, trying to loose the grip of those underwear. George screamed "Tell the kids to call 911, maybe they will bring the jaws of life. I can't take the pain anymore. I am about to pass out, and please take me to the hospital!" Eventually they freed his hand, and after George came to, he asked " do I still have my hand"?
Well our old friend George, survived this episode of life, a little worn, but no surgery was required. For that, he was thankful. George made the statement that paint is not as tight as those underwear, and his wife agreed to never wear those slimming pants ever again.

Just Laughing!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Lost Treasure (Dating Sites)

It looks like the days of looking to family and friends for help finding someone special, are almost gone. The Internet is the avenue that most people choose to search. It is convenient and private. But, there should be a Warning Label and training course for the new searchers. There are many different sites, fees that have to be paid, new terms to learn, new abbreviations. When you finish this course you should be awarded a PhD! In the training, it would be just like Boot camp. Your DI yelling at you, running you for miles. Just making your skin get thick. It is vicious out there in the search trenches! One subject that would be covered is motivation. Why are these people searching outside the sphere of friends? Are they just trying to expand the gene pool or do they have something to hide? Another subject would be terms these searchers use. Nsa, ddf, 420 friendly, ltr, fwb, hwp, and more. You would learn what these code letters mean and be able to make a somewhat intelligent choice on who to contact. An actual ad was running; SWF seeks SWM for LTR. Must be between 35 and 42 years old, no exceptions! 5' 10'' to 6' 5'', full head of hair, prefer blond, very athletic body, a professional, no children, loves to laugh. He will be very attentive to me and pamper me the way I should be! Financially strong, and willing to help me and my 3 sons, that still live with me. Their ages are 16, 19, and 22. About me. I am 5' 6", about 160 lbs. but the weight is in the right places. Really working hard on losing and I expect Mr. Wonderful to help me and motivate me to lose some more! Your picture will get mine. Hit me up and lets get started soon. Lonely in Texas. ( Bet the picture is a 10 year old Glamour shot, and they never looked that good!)
Now if this was an isolated ad, one could feel sorrow for them. Unfortunately this type ad is the norm! People threaten to drop their ad if the perfect one doesn't show soon, they have already seen 15 people and none of them was perfect! Wow, them dropping that ad would be a real blow to everyone. They want a Warranty, if the "One" turns out to not be the "One". Another line, if you don't fit my criteria, don't bother contacting me! Good Luck On Your Search.
Is everybody so blinded to what they are saying, how it wreaks of BS? There is no one that is thought to be perfect, but according to search sites there must be. The arrogance and selfishness of these people searching, is very funny.
This is just one silly example of what is out there and it is scary! Then there are the cougars, panthers, swingers, the BdSm crowd, name something weird it is out there for whomever to enjoy! Good Luck on Your Search!!

Just Avoiding the Bull!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Counseling, Bar Stories, and Tall Tales

I went to eat a late lunch the other day at the only neighborhood bar and grille in our county. The burger bites and the bottomless chips and salsa makes any Texan's heart happy. The beer was very cold and the bartender was very nice and took very good care of me. She was entertained by the non-stop note taking. All she asked for was a nice review, no problem. Krystle is the absolute best!!
There were a lot of different people sitting at the bar and the various tables. Some bikers, with a lot of tattoos. Girls that were casually dressed with perfect hair. Rough necks, ranchers, this is just a typical crowd here in rural Texas. After surveying the crowd, the stories that were told were very entertaining. The girls talked about their multiple marriages, and how the evil man was the cause of the divorce, every time.
The guys talked about all the money that they had until that last wife was able to move it out of their joint account, into the boyfriends account. One guy talked about how he was driving home and saw a trailer loaded with furniture that looked like his. When he got home, his house was empty with the exception of his clothing. There stories of old bars that are now gone over in Dallas, and down in Ft. Worth, and how they are missed.
About fights that they got into with famous people and kicked the stink out of them. Stories about the Sportorium, the Von Erichs and all the other wrestlers that battled there. How tough those guys were and their tragic end. There was so many types of folks, the butterflys that went around talking to all, the paper readers that talked to no one. One patron left, and a panic ensued, the manager thought he had walked his tab. They searched franticlly for his credit card receipt, it was finally found and peace reined supreme. The ash trays were emptied and the trash can caught fire.
The political discussion was very entertaining, according to one guy, our governor is gay, because he was a yell leader at A&M. His marriage is a front to keep him in politics. Some hate Obama and think he is in trouble, others hate him worse. Another guy said that it really doesn't matter, the ship will right itself. There were people that would tell the others to call, but will not answer when they do. If we ever believe any bar talk, we will wear the biggest moron hat the world has ever seen, and it will be a tight fit! After about 2 hours, the first group was gone and a new group came in. But that is a different story!

Just Listening

Monday, August 24, 2009

Rudolph Valentino

Yesterday was the 83rd anniversary of Valentino's death. You might say what has this got to do with anything? It was a reminder of the stories that Grandmother told us when we young. She talked about the pain all the women felt when he died. How some women even committed suicide. He was the first superstar of cinema and an Idol to Grandmother, she talked of the sadness she had! The sadness was one of her secrets, after all, she was a young woman in 1926. All of the movies and media where still new at that time and the media was just starting to get out to the small cities and towns.
Grandmother(Minnie Baldridge Wilkerson) was quite a story teller. She would use the most vivid and understandable words and phrases. This woman had a very profound and extensive grasp on the English language.
As we sat at the table, eating fresh homemade bread with home churned butter, she began to tell the story of her life. Those stories were so wonderful and none of us ever wanted to leave when she spoke. The woman was so full of compassion that the soothing words of her speech just caused us to sit and listen closely! She began with the fact of her birth in a log cabin in NW Arkansas in 1897. She was from a large family that did not realize that they were poor. Most people of that time had very few things or could be called wealthy. Her father, Matt Baldridge was a Methodist Minister that would preach his circuit of churches. We could only imagine what it was like for her to stand and look up the road for her daddy to get home, wondering if he was okay. When is he going to get back? She never labored the point of sadness, the loneliness, or the separation, only the joy of his return.
She told of the time that, her husband, our Grandfather was in France in 1917 & 1918. While he was gone those two years, she told us in secret, that she smoked cigarettes! She never told her own children about that episode of her life! She talked about the first time she saw an electric light and the marvel that it was. The first time she saw an automobile and the racket that it made, the smoke and the smells. The first movie, how it was so enchanting to see the moving pictures that looked so real, that she felt like she was there watching in person!
The most impressive thing to her young life is when saw her first aeroplane. That is the way she spoke it and wrote the word. How she wanted to fly and be like a bird and look down from the heavens. She told of the sacrifices of all, during WW II, standing at the train station, handing out cokes to the troops until her money would run out! But she said, nothing is as profound as man walking on the moon! It was like a dream when she saw it on TV. She continued to tell us that in her life people had gone from horse and carriage to rocket ships, from newspapers to radio and TV, but the one thing had not changed and never would change, the Lord! She went to be with her Lord in 1980, a sad but wonderful day. Thank You Grandmother for the wisdom you shared with us!!!!

Just My Hero!!!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Do I Ever Have The Blues?


Blues or depression. the last 5 weeks of my life have been tumultuous , put mildly. There have been really, really great highs, followed by the worst bottom of barrel lows that I could imagine! I wanted to blame everyone and everything around me. Then I would believe that I was the pond scum that brought it all on! Things that I dreaded the worst happened. The things that were hoped for never materialized the way I had wanted and dreamed. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails. I felt as if I was drifting in the Horse Latitudes in the Atlantic, days away from land and rescue. Woe unto me! Oh woes unto me! What an unimaginable feeling of despair! As I sat worrying about poor little me. In the midst of my pity party, I decided to take an online depression test, and this proved to be a handy tool for me. I was just sure that there was something clinically wrong with me! I took the test, it said that I was suffering a case of the Blues. Nothing abnormal at all. No major problem.
Then as I pondered the results, and the non-problem, That inner voice spoke," grow up selfish"! So I answered, "What"? Yes there was a reply, " Get over not getting your way. You still have goals and work that needs to get done. You are letting other people down that need you and care about you. Now, just do it"! It sure felt like the Lord was talking to me, and I didn't know he is from Texas.
I once told a good friend of mine," Don't be so spiritually minded that you are no earthly good!" It was a rude thing to say, and we reap what we sow. The Lord told me," Don't be so earthly minded that you are no spiritual good!" By allowing my selfishness to rule my life, it allowed the Blues to get control of me! All of this knowledge was like a miracle pill that started cleansing my mind and soul. Look for balance is what the Lord told me. Now I can make my bed and get ready to do some things I have avoided. The more I accept things the better I do.
Oh by the way, my score was a 31 out of a 100.

Just a Big Baby.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Tips


Tips are a hot subject for those who help us at the different places we go to eat. Eavesdrop and I am sure that some stories will be heard.
We can only imagine the bull these people put up with and still keep smiling. The wait staff knows who pays the bulk of their income, and it ain't the restaurant. I have been waited on by so many different types that I will only cover a few.
The super friendly and nice one, that can't get it right if you write down for them. But we still tip them because they are so nice. Another is the why are you bothering me type. Too busy trying to hit on some girl at another table, don't bother him, he is busy. Time to ask the manager for someone different! How about the phony friendly type, over the top, trying make you feel welcome and pampered! Not so sure about this one, they get a tip, but the normal percentage! Then there are the waiters that seem to just blend in with your group and make you feel like they are family. These guys and girls are very good and very smart! I always tip these people very well and am glad to do it.
I suppose that getting a waiter that suits you and me is as much luck as it is training. Kinda like finding a mate, but that is a different story.

Just Waiting, Tip not Included!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Au Revoir or Adieu

Has it ever happened to you, where the goodbye just said, you knew it might be for good? When a friend moved away and you got that sick feeling that this was the last time the two of you would ever see each other? It was so obvious that it was the end! There might have been a loved one that was racked with a horrible disease, that the Doctor said that it was terminal, what can you do, but say Good Bye? You might have had a psychic moment and believe that a friend that is about to leave on a trip will never return! Many are the stories and circumstances that compose sorrowful goodbyes.
There have been many sorrowful goodbyes in my life that were final goodbyes. My Dad, a best friend, and worst of all my wife! Every event was painful and emotional in its own way. This is a experience that I just don't want to have again in my life. The pain is something that I pray is never felt again. Just wishful thinking, it will never stop. Goodbyes never stop or cease to occur, because life never stops just because of our pain. Life is ever evolving and changing, and that is always going to be the fact. Somethings we will never understand!
Recently, I went to visit a very dear and close friend. Actually we were more than friends. I was so joyous and happy to see her, but something had changed and things were not right. The attitude was different, the things we had talked about just hours before were now moot. The enthusiasm was gone and there was no joy. Life is like that, throwing curve balls until we strike out! The only thing left to be said is that when we hugged and kissed goodbye, it was like I was was hit with a hammer. This may have been our last goodbye!

Just Saying Goodbye!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Closure?

We humans have such a long and selective memory. I have memories of learning to ride my bike. Wanting the traffic light that was sold by Sears in the 1950's. Looking at the world with my View Master. I don't remember any real bad times at all. These memories are a good and bad thing. There is not a balance.... When we lose a loved one, the only things we tend to remember are the good and happy things that happened. The happy ending to the story, so to speak. It usually escapes our memory, the fights, arguments, and the unhappy moments! We want to deify them and make them into a saint. I have been and I am so guilty of this action.
Then on the other hand, we have a very close relationship end poorly. We get a divorce, that is less than friendly, all that we tend to remember is the bad events and actions! There was never any love or friendship. We think that every minute of everyday was pure hell while we were together! We know this to be untrue, but we think that way for what reason I don't know. Could it just be natural pain management? Is it the lessons we have learned in our society? How do we get closure on some, and never ending grief on the others?
I am seeking the answer and it is eluding me! This is not a whine that needs cheese, just a question that needs an answer!
I need help with this question, and any help given is so appreciated!

Just Asking For Help!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The One!

We have all heard things or individuals referred to as "The One"! I have wondered all my life what determines "The One"? Is a bolt of lightning blasting from heaven? Is it a flock of butterflies invading our stomach? What is it? What pleases the eye of our grandparents is seldom pleasing to the younger crowd. What makes the bully in grade school, the teachers pet? On Gilligan's Island, Ginger or Mary Ann? Is it the Honda or the Toyota? Chocolate or Vanilla? Why would one girl get picked over the other in a beauty contest, and the girls are identical twins? This is a debate that rages on adnauseam! I know a man that has found the one true love, so far he is on marriage number thirteen (13). No bull! This is just one of the questions that I must ask while there is time to ask. It is just like the marriage pro I just spoke about, I don't think he has any idea either! Life is always evolving and changing, that is never going to stop. None of us get off of this earth alive. I believe that I have found the one, but it is not a wife, but it is "The One" who promised me eternal life, and an eternity of joy.

Just Found The One!

Disappointment!


This is a weird subject for me, I am the glass half full type. However, it is something we all suffer daily, but on different levels. Students feel it when their grades are not as high as they thought. They go down and fail their driving test. The little ones feel it when they miss the Ice Cream truck. When their little puppy runs away,that is tragedy Planning a big family picnic, the storms come and wash it away. Interviewing for a job, the job is promised to you, then all of a sudden it is given to someone else. The sudden death of a close loved one!
There are so many other things in life that can and do disappoint us, friends, family, a lover,weather, racing, the Dallas Cowboys. There are those of us that seem to have more than our fair share of disappointment. Why is that so? Is it fate, karma, divine,or self deception? Could the way we think effect the number of disappointments we have? That is a strong possibility. Are we looking at things thru rose colored glasses? Are we hearing what we want to hear and not what is being said? Believing that we can change things and others to fit our fantasy? The charge is self deception and" I plead guilty as charged, Your Honor!" There is always going to be disappointment, and no it can not be stopped! Having been convicted of self deception, I now must accept the fact things must be viewed live and not filtered. We, or I cannot hide from reality. No matter where we go,there we are! Today is the the day for change! The only thing that does not disappoint is the Hope that God gives!
Just One Day At A Time

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Hats We Wear



We all wear so many different hats. We men wear the hats of Son,Brother,Uncle,Father, Friend, Boss, Hunter,Husband. The list goes on and on. But on the other hand, women make men look like beginners when it comes to the number of hats they wear. They are Sister, Daughter, Friend, Counselor, Healer, Protector, Confidant, Mother, Wife, Comforter, Keeper of Secrets, Encourager, and far beyond this small list. How many times do we see Atheletes,as they are being interviewed, slide in "Hi Mom!" How often do they say Hi Dad? Not very often at all. When these same people hit it big, the first thing they do is buy Mom a new house! I am not saying Dads don't count, we just tend to be disinterested in our young. When a couple splits up, the Mom is usually the one who raises the kids. She tends to all those things that a man is supposed to do, in addition to her own! She wears both hats. Sorry guys, but the statistics are showing most men don't care. We tend to think that sending money every paycheck and picking the kids up every two weeks for lunch is showing our love and concern. We just blow off the facts and leave it to Mom! What a sacrifice! Lunch every two weeks, wow! The main hat that most men wear, is one of self-importance, we think that we can not be replaced! When we are gone, we might be missed for a season, but some other guy will put on the hat that we were wearing, and carry on. Nothing is forever, and life is always changing and evolving. Just treat the hat that God gave you to wear with honor.

Just Changing Hats!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Curious about the Future?

We humans are more curious than cats. I had a cat one time that I called Cat-Dog. I could whistle and he would come running. He liked pasta and pizza left overs better than cat food. More dog like than cat, but he was very curious. He would crawl into to anything, climb the tallest trees, sneak up on birds. Just a cat in that way.
Sometimes it seems like I am a lot like Cat-Dog, so very curious about the future. Wondering what is next in this life we live. Do I have surprises coming at me, will our freedom be taken away. Well, Lets just get the old Crystal Ball out and look at the future. You know, a funny thing happened to my Crystal Ball! So I sent it in to have it fixed, because it would not show me the future I wanted, and the darn shop lost it!
So I called the Palm Reader, Madame Marie. She looked at my palms and said several things might happen. But she doesn't read the future. Defeated again!
Next thing to try was a Psychic, she said she knew I was going to call. I said good, how many times have you won the Lotto. She said never, so I thanked her and left. I figured if she could not predict something as simple as 6 numbers, how was she going to see my future! I am not going to mention all the other readings, what a waste of time.
Realistically, how can I or anyone else predict the future, it has not happened yet. It is still unwritten as far as mankind is concerned. Should I worry? Probably not. Christ asked who could add to their stature with worry? We, or I need to tend to things in hand now. We should not worry about things that more than likely will not happen. Don't worry, it is always the darkest before the dawn.

Just Curious

Monday, August 3, 2009

Texans are a tough bunch!



A Texan dies and goes to hell. While down there the devil notices that the Texan is not suffering like the rest He checks the gauges and sees that it's 100 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the Texan and asks why he's so happy. The Texan says, "I really like it here. The temperature is just like Dallas in June."
The devil isn't happy with the Texan's answer and decides to fix him, so he goes over and turns up the thermostat to 120 degrees and the humidity to 90%. After turning everything up he goes looking for the Texan. He finds him standing around unbuttoning his shirt, just as happy as can be. The devil quizzes the Texan again as to why he's so happy. The Texan says, "This is even better. It's like Austin in July." The devil, now really upset, decides to make the Texan really understand that hell is no paradise. He walks over to the controls and turns the heat up to 140 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now let's see what the Texan is up to," he thinks. So he goes looking for the Texan. The devil finds the Texan taking his shirt off basking in the heat, even happier than before. The devil can't figure it out. He asks the Texan why he's happy now. The Texan replies, "This is great, it's just like Brownsville in August." The devil says, "That's it, I'll get this guy." He walks over and turns the temperature down to a freezing 25 degrees below zero. "Now let's see what the Texan has to say about this," the devil thinks to himself. He looks around and finds the Texan jumping up and down for joy. "What are you so happy about now," asks the devil. Still excited, the Texan replies, "YIPEE! The Rangers have finally won the World Series!"
This is an old joke, but I thought you might get a kick out of it.

Just Cookin!!

Sadness or Joy

Today is a day of note for me. This day is the anniversary of the death of two people that I was very close to. My dad, 39 years, and my wife, 2 years.
I had a lot of difficulty dealing with these events for a long time. Extreme grief was the feeling I carried all of the time! The pain was without measure, I just wanted to quit! Everything!
But while I was in the depth of valley, some thoughts hit me. I was being selfish! You might say why? Well, the truth is, I felt sorry for myself! All I thought about was what I had lost, the good times we had.
When I opened my eyes, it did finally occur to me that these two people are in much better shape than I. Gone is the agony and pain that they suffered, the constant drip of morphine altering their mental state! They were released from the evil things that befell them.
Celebration is the main thing that came into my thinking, not their death, the transition. I feel so blessed to have known my Dad and Brenda. The joy we shared was without end. There was no way that it was expected for me to sit in sackcloth and ashes. That would really tick both of them off. Dad would have kicked my butt. Brenda would have made fun of me.
They had both made their peace with the Maker, and were ready to transition to a better life. That is cause enough to celebrate, not easy to do at first, but now is my everyday feeling!
A very wise man told me once, "when you die one of three things happen. You go to heaven,You go to hell, or You cease to exist!" I choose to believe in Heaven for my destination!

Just Celebrating!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Are You too old for Success?


I was sitting and talking with some friends the other day, the subject of success came up. We all had different ideas about what success really is.
One friend said, that it is being happy in what you are. Another friend said that it is being wealthy beyond measure. There were several more ideas thrown in as well.
The longer we talked, it was decided in our group that success is relative to age. Not necessarily calendar age, but mental age.
In our circle of friends we have a couple of guys that are about 90 years old, mentally. Yet we have guys that are 10 years older by the calendar, but they are about 35 mentally.
We believe that if J.C. Penny could become financially successful at the age of 65 after failing so many times in the past, anyone can do it. You must be willing to sacrifice everything, be ready to adapt, accept change, accept ridicule from your family and close friends. You are going to need a vision, clear cut goals and a timeline. And, if you know it all, you are going to hit a brick wall. Boom!! That will leave a mark.
I think the things that drive me is my desire to help those that need it and my service to God. Am I willing to give it all? You Bet!!

Just Believing!