Who would have thunkt it?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.


One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.













The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at

schools, the computer age, and just things in general..

The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There wereno:

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon



Your Grandfather and I got married first, .. ... ... and then lived together..

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title,

"Sir."



We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and

group therapy.



Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common

sense.



We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up

and take responsibility for our actions.



Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger

privilege...



We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and

weekends-not purchasing condominiums.





We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or

guys wearing earrings.



We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our

radios.



And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy

Dorsey.



If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam....

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.



Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a

nickel.



And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps

to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.



You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . .. . but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' "grass" was mowed,

' "coke" was a cold drink,

' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and

' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,

' " chip" meant a piece of wood,

' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and

' "software" wasn't even a word.



And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband

to have a baby.



No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.

How old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old lady in mind....you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same

time.



Are you ready ?????





















































This woman would be only 59 years old.

Oh No

Will Prince William and Kate snub the Obamas?

Kevin Lamarque / Reuters

The president and first lady were dressed to the nines for a Kennedy Center Honorees Reception at the White House earlier this month -- but if the U.K. Daily Mail has it right, they won't need to break out their glad rags for Will and Kate's wedding.

The U.K. Daily Mail is reporting that President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama will not be invited to the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton next April. The British tabloid cites "a senior courtier" as saying that "The guest list is still being drawn up and could change, but as things stand it’s right (to say Mr Obama will not be invited)."
The Mail claims that because William is not yet heir to the throne, the wedding is not an official state occasion and Will and Kate are more interested in having people who work for William's many charities and just plain folks among the 2,000 guests at their "people's wedding" than dignitaries and VIPs. However, the Mail says that French President Nicolas Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni will likely be invited.
But state occasion or not, not inviting the Obamas would certainly be a break from tradition. In 1981, for example, President Ronald Reagan and wife Nancy were invited to the wedding of Charles and Diana (Nancy came, but the president, recovering from an assassination attempt, stayed home).
In assessing the credibility of the Mail's report, it should be noted that the tabloid has had to pay out hundreds of thousands of pounds in high-profile libel cases involving celebrities over the past decade alone. On the other hand, the newspaper has broken its share of scoops as well.

Memories of a 5 year old!

It is a funny thing the way we remember things. It can be a picture, a conversation, a smell, a toy, just about anything. This is a picture of the car we had when I was 5. There was a big controversy in the family when got this car, so it has always stood out as a point of time in my life. Trips that we took to distant relatives homes, vacations, going to weddings, and funerals. 
Seeing this picture brought memories of my Dad's Grandma Nora cascading out. Oh the visits we made to her in her little house in that little town. She was the sweetest lady, and how much my Dad adored her! Very crafty, making little monkey dolls out of socks that looked real to this 5 year old. I wanted one so badly, that she gave me one to take back home. Joy, joy, joy!!!! I loved her so much.
It was this same car that took us to something new, a funeral. Grandma Nora's Funeral. I asked my Dad, "why won't Grandma talk to me?" Dad explained me the best he could why she wouldn't talk to me. Of course this made me so sad that I cried. After the services we went to Grandma's house to eat. I loved eating at Grandma's house, but she wasn't there. There was a bunch of people there that I did not know. There was 2 old women fighting over one of Grandmas special plates. Grandma's house was not the way it was supposed to be! That was in 1959, and I have never been to that house again. Sometimes it is tough being 5.


Mango

Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems.
He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month,
if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money.
He says “pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest”,
but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.
Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us.
The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics
and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ,
and the next he's with Muslums.
Finally, the last straw…..

He's demanding that before anyone can
be in the same room with him,
they must sign a loyalty oath.
It's just so horribly creepy!
Can you help?

Signed,   Lost in DC
_______________________________

Dear Lost:

Stop whining, Michelle!!   You can divorce the jerk any time you want.
The rest of us are stuck with him for two more years!

The Magic Trick

  A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so
the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and
began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he
started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!"
or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all
the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the
captain's parrot.

Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the
middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went
on for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said,

"OK, I give up. Where's the f------ship?"

Christmas 2010

Nancy Pelosi, Bless her heart!

Poor thing! How is she going to make it now that she lost her super powers? As we say in Texas, Bless Her Heart!


Mango

Garbage Trucks

 

Law of The Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. 

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. 

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy --and I mean, he was really friendly.  

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' 

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of The Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.

They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. 

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

So -- Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is 10 percent what you MAKE IT and 90 percent how you TAKE IT!
Have a Garbage-Free Day!

More Signs and Sayings

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

**************************

  In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

**************************

On a Plumber's  truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

**************************

On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

**************************

At a Tire Store 

'Invite us to your next blowout..'

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

**************************

In a Non-smoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push..'

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

'We really know our stuff.'

**************************

On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

**************************

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

**************************

In a Vets waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

**********************

Sign on the back of yet another

Septic Tank Truck:

'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

Prayer

Cowboy Poetry

Jake, the rancher, went one day
To fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty
And the clouds rolled gray and dense.

As he pounded the last staples in
And gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen,
And snow began to blow.

When he finally reached his pickup,
He felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition
He knew it wouldn't start.

So Jake did what most of us
Would do if we were there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
And sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key the last time,
He softly cursed his luck
They found him three days later,
Frozen stiff in that old truck.

Now Jake had been around in life
And done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked --
It looked just like Wyoming !

Of all the saints in Heaven,
His favorite was St. Peter .
So they sat and talked a minute or two,
Or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score --
In Heaven, time is free.

'I've always heard,' Jake said to Pete ,
'that God will answer prayers,
But the one time I asked for help,
Well, he just wasn't there.'

'Does God answer prayers of some,
And ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square --
I know all men are brothers.'

'Or does he randomly reply,
Without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
The weather or the season.'

'Now I ain't trying to act smart,
It's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me
What the heck's the deal?!'

Peter listened very patiently
And when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
And he said, 'So, you're the one!!'

That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
And you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
With hundreds of us trying.'

'A thousand angels rushed,
To check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake , we hadn't heard
From you in quite a while.'

'And though all prayers are answered,
And God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
And started a truck in Minnesota '!

IT'S  BEST  TO  KEEP  I N  TOUCH...

I am such a easy touch!

Every once in a while we are requested to throw convention to the wind. The picture you see is the end result of my throwing. There is this little 7 year old girl that needed one more set of toes to work on, so guess who was selected. Yep, easy old me. It is hard to believe the power of hugs and kisses, along with sweet little words like "Please Pops, I promise you will be happy!"
Before you could shake a stick she was filing away on the nails. She worked on every part of my feet, spending about 20 minutes including a massage! After all of this pampering she asked the question,"what color do you want Pops?" I told her any one she wanted and of course she had her mind made up, 5 different colors it would be! She did such a fine job that a monthly appointment could be a part of my future. No, not really! However she did let me know that for Christmas the new job would be Red and Green, along with some little trees painted on.  Can't wait!


Mango

Civic Duty!

I saw a Muslim Extremist fall into the Rio Grande this morning. He was struggling to stay afloat, but he was failing, due to all the guns and bombs he was carrying! Along with him was a member of the Mexican Drug Cartel, who was struggling to stay afloat. Because of  the large amount of drugs strapped to his back.
 If they did not get help soon, they would surely drown!  Because I always try to do my civic duty, I informed the El Paso Sheriffs Dept. and the Department of Homeland Security. It is now 4 pm and they still have not responded to help.
My question is "did i waste money on buying those two stamps?"

Oh Well,

Mango

Something to think about.

As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our ability.
Henry Ford

I feel safer now!! Obama steps up searches on suspected terrorists!

This suspect is a member of the Rosary Committee, an arm of the Radical Church Mothers, whose stated goal is make children behave at home and in public. Their goals are so evil and contrary to the Obama Administration, they felt a need for stepped up airport security. Paddles are the number 1 weapon of choice. Forced confessions and prayers also play a part in their method of operation. You have been warned!


Mango

Grey Hair!

If you are one of those people that has weathered the storms of life, long enough to become grey headed. Congratulations are in order for you. That means you are now ready for the nursing home! 
So now you are saying" I am in perfect health! I have all my teeth! Man, I am not even sixty years old yet, why the nursing home?" 
Just as we did when we were 35, the grey hair means old. Old means that we forgot how to live and work. Old means we aren't capable of learning anything new. Anyway, that is what some kid, 30 years old told me the other day. His turn is coming!


Mango

I mad this mistake once. Just once!

Bad mistake, women do not find that comment funny!


Mango

Bigotry!

There was an old man, about 75, that was mean and hateful. He used every racial, religious, ethnic slur known to mankind. I asked him why he was such a racist? His response, " I am not a racist, I hate everyone the same!"


Mango

My Dog

Please be advised I am sick of receiving questions about my dog who mauled
 3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall, 6 illegals wearing Obama
 t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5 phone operators
 who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their pants hanging
 down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken
 English, 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
 FOR THE LAST TIME... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

Mango

Lost and Found

My 5 year old grandson and I went to the Mall. Just a looking around trip, until he saw the toy store. Man, he was gone like a bullet, out of sight before I could catch him. There was a lot of people milling about, I asked everyone if they had seen the little runaway?  No was the answer. Before long the announcement came  out thru the PA system, "Pops Mango, come to Chili's please!"
Off I went. There he was, with mall security, waiting for me. He had told the people in the toy store that his pops was lost. They asked him, "what is his name and what is he like?"  The young stool pigeon said, "women with big boobs, cold beer, and Chili's ." So we brought him here, and paged you.
Grandma is going to have a fit over this one.

Mango

True Love!

This past weekend I took a short trip north. Yes sir, it was to Las Vegas on the Red, The Red River. In the middle of the nowhere Oklahoma is the promise, of extreme wealth. 
So excited was I, that when the turn into the parking lot came up, we made the turn on two wheels, in my pickup. The truck was barely stopped when we all jumped out and started running for the door, Wealth was Waiting! Still running, the guys in the blue jackets slowed us down, and told us to get our I.D.s, then we could enter the Casino.
After what seemed like several hours, we had our I.D.s and we walked into a world of sounds, smells, flashing lites. Had we entered Heaven? Where do I start?  It turned out the answer was right in front of me, The Aztec's Gold. I only have $50 to spend, and this machine is only a penny. I put a $20 in the machine, thinking that would be enough, pushed the spin button, lights flashed, wheels spun and bells rang. I just knew that I was a millionaire, waiting, waiting, waiting. Please Play again. What? So I hit the button again, same story, same answer. What should I do? I tried a few more times, still not a single win. So I decided to cash out, hit the button and got back 75cents out of 20 bucks. I called for an attendant and said," I thought a penny machine meant a penny." She replied and mentioned the button I was using was the Max Bet button. Max Bet! Whats that? So she explained it so I could understand. Oh well, stupid on my part, time to look around and see the sights.
There are many Bars and Fancy Cafes, Gift Shops, Poker Tables, and don't forget The Machines! As the self guided tour continued, IT HAPPENED, THE LIGHTS DIMMED, THE SOUNDS STOPPED, AND IT APPEARED THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SHINED A LIGHT DOWN WITH THE ANGELS SINGING. THERE SHE WAS, RED HOT RUBY. This was a sign that great fortune was just in reach, and my day would be a success. Yes Sir, I was about to become a Millionaire. Ruby looked at me and smiled, she was so trusting in her look, such honest eyes. She wanted me and I wanted her to bless me with great fortune. I seemed to float to her waiting arms and put the Last $30 I had in the money slot. Hit the button and waited. Defeat. Please play again. Ruby seemed to whisper, "I was just teasing, try again, it will be better, Promise!" So the Promise Button was pushed again, this time I won a dollar back. Is this divine? Ruby speaks again,"trust me, all I want to do is please you and make you rich!" With this promise, all worries are now gone. Riches, here I come! I just start pushing the button, lites are flashing, bells and buzzers, Ruby's nervous laughter. After a while, when I look at my balance, shock and doom hit me like a bull in a rodeo. There is only enough money left for 1 more spin. "Ruby, you promised to make me rich, you said not to worry, whats the deal," I asked and continued, " You know that is all the money I have!" Ruby whispered back, "I saved the best for last, just to please you. Go ahead, and push the button big boy!" The sound of her voice was angelic and intoxicating. Mash the promise button one more time. The wheels start spinning and bells ringing. Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, finally the first wheel stops on the Jackpot Icon! The second wheel slow down, slowly, slower, Wow it stops on the Jackpot! One more wheel and I win $10,000 cash. The wheel spins for what seems like an hour. Now it is slowing, slowing, slowing, almost stopped, the Jackpot is coming up, getting closer. Ruby is about to give me that big old winning kiss! Closer, closer, closer, just a little more, new tires for my pickup and a new saddle for my horse, there it is, THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS.... DAMN!! THE WHEEL STOPPED JUST SHORT OF THE JACKPOT.  I dropped my head, Ruby laughed as I turned and walked away. Then on the way out, sat Barbie's Golden Treasure. I will see you next time Barbie.

Mango

Betting on Races

Never bet on the Muslim Race Driver if the race is in the afternoon.
The 3 o'clock prayers will get you every time!!

Mango

What will they think of next?

I heard that a new Star Wars movie is coming out. This one is about Yoda's illegitimate son. It seems as if Yoda and Mr. T's mother had a tryst. This is going to be a riveting story, don't you think?

Mango

Be Carefull What You Wish For!

How many times have we wished for a million dollars cash, because all our woes could be fixed? An old man said to when I was young,"if I had all the money in the world, I would pay off what I could and just let the other bills ride.
Why do little girls dream of being a princess, little boys of being a football player, or whatever the wish of the day is? The movie, 3 Coins, is about 3 young American women that go to Rome to find their fairy tale Prince and happiness. Success, in their case, was not completely realized.
What about wishing to be a football coach. That is scary in and of its self, and that is enough to turn this movie into a Horror Show.

Mango

The Safest and Most Secure Job in America

I think that it would be safer to be on this boat in the storm, than to be a Coach for a Football Team.


Mango

Could it be?

    *Woman shot in the head*

    Linda Burnett,  23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
    in-laws  and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up
    some  groceries.

    Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway
    with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands
    behind the back of her head.

    He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that
    Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her
    if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the
    back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
     
    The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
    the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from
    her head.

    When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
    dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had
    exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a
    gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When
    she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
    thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
    recovered.
     
    Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could
    all be a coincidence.


Mango

Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover!

Not all things are as good as they appear! Just because someone who has nothing wins the lottery, does that make them financial geniuses ?  Set back and enjoy.

Mango

His Trump Card did not work!

The current POTUS seems to have a mess on his hands. The places where he campaigned, the candidates/incumbents lost. The areas he avoided were not as bad. Do you ever get the feeling that he thinks that he knows what we need more so than we do. When you go to the Dr. it is common for him to say that we know how medicines effect us more than he does. Maybe, it is the wish of a lot of people to have their life planned out, down to what we eat, what we watch, and perhaps, Who We Worship!

Mango

East meets West!

I want one of these cars. They are really tough and surely they have a good warranty. And wow, what a rough testing process they go thru.
Mango

You Lie!!!!

It is uncanny, that when a politician gets caught lying or stealing, the speed that they divert the blame is unreal. The speed of light is creeping in comparison to the speed of their lies. There is no way to measure it with current knowledge. 




Mango

Whats the Point?

My Buying is Done

 I was looking for ideas for gifts for the holidays. So while looking in some old magazines for some old time gifts, I came across this outstanding idea. Some may not like the gift, but they can always take it to store and get 6 or 7 bucks back. Taking gifts back is normal, so why be offended. The others will be joyful.  What about the kids you ask, well I thought about them too, they get the candy version. Can't leave them out, can we. My shopping is all done now, and think about this, I wont be running about frantically looking for gifts at the last moment. Yes indeed, now everyone will know that I care!

Mango 

Is It Time?

I told my assistant that it might be time for her to retire. She told me that when I get out of the hospital, she might consider it.


Mango

GOD IS HATE???

According to this guy, Fred Phelps Sr. and his church, The Westboro Baptist Church, he is. Did God decide that he would give Phelps all of his judgement duties, because Phelps would do a better job? Why wasn't anyone told about God suspending his judgement powers?
The last thing that I heard was that God is Love, and humans judge. Much to these different religions chagrin,  there is only one God. 

Mango

Does most everthing belong in--

The question has been presented; What belongs in the Land of Make Believe. Lets try some things and see if they fit.
Video games, online games, chain e-mails, online petitions, fake identity, there are so many more. Shoot em to me if you will.


Mango

Rules for Employment

I worked for the man that wrote these rules. He was in Plano of course.

Mango

Top Advice

You will have defeats in life. You only FAIL if you Surrender!!!!




Mango

Joy or Pain. What is life, really?

This is a picture of a girl that was about 10 yrs old. She had a life shortening disease that made her age about 9 years to 1 lived. The oldest she can live is about 14 years. It is a fatal disease called Progeria. I lost a cousin to Progeria.   What is her life, Joy or Pain?

I know a lady that had Stage 4 Cervical Cancer. She underwent radical treatment which saved her life. She has made it 20+ years so far. The side affects of the treatment is multiple trips to the hospital every year for all the things that were damaged in the treatment. Tough lady. What is her life, Joy or Pain?

A family loses their 18 year old son to a middle of the day, angry, upset, drunk driver. This was the baby of the family. Drunk Driver never had anything charged against him.  Joy or Pain?

People are suffering all around us, some want due to being lazy. Some can not help themselves, they need a hand up and not a hand out. They still have pride so they are embarrassed to ask for help. Joy or Pain?

I said all this for a reason. You all know me, there is a reason. I had a Preacher tell me that all these people have to go to hell when they die. Why, you may ask. Because none of these people belong to his religion. You decide. Do any of these people deserve to go to the preachers hell, or have they had quite enough hell here in this body?


Mango

Thinking! Paradoxical Thought For The Day.

Fathom the odd hypocrisy, that Obama wants every citizen to prove that they are insured. But people don't have to prove they are citizens!
 attrib: Ben Stein




Mango
 

What?

I understand that Homer has started a new religion.  Beer and doughnuts for all.


Mango

War Without End?

Did you know that in the 3500 years of recorded history, there has been only 230 years that a war was not being fought.  So we have peace just 1.6% of the time. Are humans capable of peace and harmony? Why do people want to rule the world. This guy doesn't trust that guy who doesn't trust him. People fighting for peace. Violent protests for peace. Tell us all how peace can be achieved ? If there was a perfect leader, there would be a vocal opposition making lots of noise. Is anybody ever really happy on this planet? The real purpose of this hell we live in is to help to look forward without fear.

Mango

Something New

This should be my new look at life. I have loaned large amounts of money to people, none of which has paid me back.

Mango

I may have seen the light!

Do you think that he is telling the truth? Oh I am sorry, he never learned to tell the truth.

Mango

How Come?

A young Arab boy asks his father:

What is this strange hat that we are wearing?

It's a "chechia" - because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun.

And what is this weird type of clothing that we are wearing?

It's a "djbellah" - because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body!

And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?

These are "babouches" - which keep us from burning our feet on the hot desert sand!

Tell me, papa...

Yes, my son?

Why are we living in Dearborn - and still wearing all of this stuff? 



Mango

OMG

Somethings just make me say OMG, what are they thinking?

Mango

Karma does not play well with others.

 I might be the only one that does this, look back on why I let people screw me over. It was so easy to blame the devil or evil forces. Those people had deceived me. The evil bastards! I just felt so sorry for myself, crying was not out of the question. The politicians had told us all that happy days are here again, there would be a chicken in every pot. Gas in every tank. The Government would tuck us in so nice and secure, safer than a mothers arms. How about that money that we loaned and never were payed back, they seemed so sincere. How many events can be brought back to memory. How about that time when nothing but rudeness was shown to us, a complete stranger. Being hateful to our kids.
Personally, I don't care anymore about those things. I repeat that statement many times a day. Some of those people that were on top of the world and judging me so harshly have now been visited by Karma. But in the great scheme of things, pay back does not really matter. Karma will handle the payback.
  It was once said," holding anger and wanting revenge at any cost is very much like drinking poison, then waiting on the other person to die!"

Mango

Who would have ever thought it would come to this?

I spoke to a friend that informed me he had just attended his 40th high school reunion. He said that there was no way he went to school with all those old people!
It seems that now if you are a Christian, you are guilty of a hate crime. No reason needed.  But killing Christians is okay. Reason, the killers are just a little too zealous in their beliefs, and that makes it okay.
When did owing money to any one become a good thing? Good Debt? Really?
There was a rally at the Capitol for Socialists recently. They left a huge amount of trash. But that is okay, they hugged a tree on the way out.
I do not believe the words of any politician! Politician is the synonym of liar.
It would not shock me if the U.S.A. broke up into 4 or 5 smaller countries. The people in Washington D.C. are dividing all the people into separate groups, who are tired of the ruling class mentality. Those people make up rules for something to do. Paperwork for what reason? Only they know for sure.
I feel so fortunate to having grown up in the 50's and 60's. Lots of changes but we did not have laws on laws. If you got into trouble, the cop would call your Dad. If you got caught with beer, he made you pour it out in front of him, then he called your dad. Schools were not entertainment centers, we went there to learn the 3 R's. Not some test that some guy named Perot felt was needed. Oh thats right, he is rich from government contracts, so he knows better.
I am going to vote in the upcoming election, I just hope my vote really does count. But who knows, maybe we get the Daley treatment again.

Mango

Whose Religion is the Best?

The news lately is just full of venom and hate. This religion is mad at that religion because this religion called that religion unbelievers. Okay? Is the statement true or not? If you don't adhere to their faith and beliefs, then you actually are an unbeliever. On the other hand, if they don''t follow your religion then they are unbelievers.  Of course that calls for bombings, murder, war, you name it, to stop the spread of that evil religion.
Could the rest of the world be told what these know it all religion experts know, so that we can settle the spiritual matters and get on with feeding starving people. I do not follow any one preacher or teacher because I am perfectly comfortable learning on my own. Just study the foundation of any so-called faith, get into the inner workings of that faith, then see if you blindly follow Rev. Soandso.  I might be a handful if one of my grand kids was brain washed into blowing himself up in the name of some BS religion.
 What about all the environmental folks, the vegans, gays and lesbians, Republicans, Democrats, elitists, northerners, southerners, it seems as if everyone has a religious axe to grind. Why do I call it religious? Just ask yourself," what do I spend the most time thinking about?" Whatever it is, that is your true love, with a strong chance of it bordering on being your faith.

Oh well, I have pissed off enough people for now, I am just tired of hearing the people on TV and Radio telling me to send my money to God, just use their address. By the way, if I do something heroic and I am awarded 77 virgins, do I get to go back to being 25?  I need to check the fine print.


Mango

Things, They Are A Changing!!

Trans - Am       2010

Trans - Am          1968

Another Drunk Driver off the road!

About 2:30 this morning, I was awakened with a very uneasy feeling. I thought that it was just the urge to go to the bathroom. So back to bed it was, uneasy feeling still there, trying to go back to sleep. Getting more and more frustrated, I just got up about 4:00, made coffee, and went out and sat on the porch.  I am sitting there with my solitude, sipping hot coffee, suddenly bright lights show up on the road, and they aren't moving any where. My house is about 250 ft off the FM road that runs next to my little 4 acre yard, so off I go being nosy about who is out there. I don't get visitors at 4:30 in the morning. I walk out past the end of the house and see 2 Sheriffs cars, red and blues flashing. Speeder ? A few moments later the Aubrey Fire Dept and EMS showed up, Whats Up?  I am sitting out in my north field watching, I might be Curious Cat. What happened?
 About 2 hours later, still dark outside, the EMS brings someone up the side of the road, in a bag on the gurney. The DPS is here now and they look at the drivers ID, and I overheard the comment," DWI", and he asked, " did he have any prior arrests or convictions for DWI" ?
 Sometime around 2:30 this driver ran off the road and flipped his car. He was crushed by the roof of his car, requiring the jaws of life to get his body free. He was discovered by someone driving by that took the time to call 911. It is not known how long he lived after the crash, what a crappy end to his life, so many questions, luckily he was alone. Around 6:45 the tow truck showed up, quickly picking up the terribly mangled wreck while the DPS videoed the entire affair. All the players in this play left about 7am, all flashing lights were off.

Mango

Whats Stuffed in Your Console?

When I buy a car for personal use or resale, I always go thru every crevice and cranny the car has. And having done this several hundred times I have developed a idea about the true behavior and habits of people. Finding year old french fries, ketchup packs, mustard packs, used toothpicks, forks, spoons, CD's, old batteries, broken cell phones and chargers. Should I go on?  No, I'll save you the boredom. What is so surprising about the hidden contents is one of disbelief, that these seemingly upper crust people, have a secret life. Always hungry, lazy, sloppy, dirty, need music, sneaking a drink, fear of a breakdown.  Maybe, or they are just hogs wearing a silk shirt.

Mango

I Just Heard the News

I suppose that I might as well learn something about our grand children's religion. I guess that if the President endorses them and their mosque at ground zero, we might as well get ready for the change. The media and congress support him and all his ideas, and what we the people desire is not an option. We might as well get ready for the change. Happy Ramadan!

Mango