Saturday, January 30, 2010

Slogans

I heard about some possible new slogans for different groups. Some are pretty funny. Well, they are to me.

Procrastinators - Tomorrow is a dream, that's when we will do it..

PGA Golf - You have 18 holes to get it right.

U.S. Congress - Thanks for making us rich.

Nebraska - Corn rows, not just a hair style.

Oklahoma - If your white clothes are red now, You are here.

MADD - we all know this group, there is a new group started called DAMM - Drunks against Mad Mothers

Red River Shoot Out - Texas/OU game. When Texans play Texans

Grave Diggers - We are 6 foot deep in our business.

Lonely Hearts Club - Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

Hospitals - We bury our mistakes.

Masons - We can't tell you, it is a secret.

Old West Sheriffs - Our clients just hang around.

How about religions

Baptist - We take the Bible and slap the hell out of you.

Pentecostal - We do more than just roll in the aisles.

Catholic - Do you feel guilty? How about now?

Spiritualists - We will haunt you.

Morman - Our Bible is better than yours.

Muslim - Allah is love. Convert or we will kill you.

Tele-Evangelists - Send your money and gifts to God. Here, use my address.

Church of Christ - We are the only religion that is right. Sorry about your bad luck.

Then of course there is the I.R.S. - Trust us. We are here to help you.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Just Wondering

At my favorite neighborhood bar the conversation turned to talk about things we don't know or understand. Here is a list we came up with. Included are things we are thankful for.
  • How can something small be called big, as in Jumbo-Shrimp?
  • Why do most families have a black sheep?
  • Why do most people thank a Cop for a citation?
  • Why are some people always mean?
  • It is said that when someone is grumpy in the morning that they got up on the wrong side of the bed. Which side is the wrong side, right or left?
  • Why do bald guys do comb-overs?
  • Why is one religion better than all the others?
  • Is it still a lie if you say it a different way?
  • Why do women shave their eyebrows, then paint them back on?
  • Chocolate or Vanilla?
  • Why we park on a driveway, but we drive on a parkway?
  • If someone dies with the most toys wins, what does he win? Isn't he still dead?
  • Why do dogs and cats fight?
  • When did wrong become right, and who changed the rules?
  • Why do people lie?
  • If someone wins the lottery, does that make them a financial wizard?

But something we are thankful for: What if cows could fly?


Mango

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

People and their Pets

I was too lazy to write this story, so I just recorded it!
Hope you like it.

Mango





video

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Aaarrrrgghhhhh!!!!!

The empty suit

Loose dogs

Two-faced people

Lies

Hitting a swarm of bugs with a freshly waxed car

Rudeness

Getting up late

Being late

Laziness

Getting rushed

Cell phone drivers

Doctors being late to their appointments

Unbridled kids at the store

Dirty diapers laying in the parking lot

Cars parked in two spots

But the worst, sickness

These are things that get my goat!!


Mango

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What Can I Truly Change?


I have been taught all my life that anyone can change and improve if they want to. We are not locked into what we are, unless that is what we want !
Other people can try to change us, but that never seems to work out. An old proverb that my grandmother taught me is, A person changed against his will, is of the same opinion still!
The only change that is real, is radical change. Meaning from the base up to the top. Attitude shifting is a real thing. That change comes from a deep rethink. If your change comes from a tragic event or from a joyous moment, it is more than likely, real and will last.
That change can come from a relationship with the creator. He did makes us and give us the ability to improve ourselves. As for me change is usually forced on me, because of behavior and wanting to stay 35 years old my whole life.

Mango

Friday, January 1, 2010

I Want a Do-Over -- Happy New Year


2009 is finally over and I want a do-over! This looks like an opportunity for a new start on this track that we call life. We just finished a year that will likely be used as a benchmark for future generations. Only time will tell, because history is written by the victorious!
Time is a human obsession to be able to measure everything. We celebrate birth dates, anniversaries, graduations, and of course, New Year. Realistically we don't become one year older, nor does a year evolve overnight. We just become 1 day older, nothing more. Time just marches on, and we can go with the march or just quit and die. Measuring time is a good way for we humans to see how things are changing. Am I doing okay? Will I succeed?
As for 2009, it was a year of major changes and challenges. Health, both physical and emotional. I met people that I wish that I hadn't. I met people that will be part of my life for the balance. I re met people that we had lost touch with each other. Friends that watched the utter nonsense of my life's events, powerless to change anything or save me from myself! 3 bouts of pneumonia, chronic hypertension, becoming blind in one eye, and even went dancing with the pig and his flu! My year looking back sucked in many ways, but at least it is over!
Now considering 2010, the excitement is back and building quickly. I only got 1 day older. Decisions have been made to make it a great year. Realistic goals are now set, the gun was fired, and I left the starting blocks and I am in stride as we speak!


Mango