Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Did Not Know

I must not pay attention to much. My refrigerator decided to stop working, it was a shock to me when I had to take a second mortgage to pay for it. I had to buy tires for my pickup, the cost required me to refinance my truck. I got a tax bill for some property I own, the appraised value is just at two times the amount I will sell it for. Some young woman who happens to be an actress, is put in jail for being an idiot, and the term is cut down because she is famous. Why am I supposed to care? The price for everything goes up! Why does our income stay the same? When is rich, rich enough? I am not upset or do I care, my life is good. Compared to most people on earth, I live like a King. Remember, I do live in heaven, aka TEXAS!


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The New Law, that nobody told me about.

I learned today that if you are driving an SUV, it is okay to turn right out of the left lane. But you are required to be talking on the cell phone to make this maneuver completely legal! I learn something new everyday. So look out when any shopping area is close by. Good Luck!


Monday, July 19, 2010

Wally-World Drivers License?

I was walking around the mall (Wally-World) just enjoying my new found ability to see. Looking at the plants, electronics, and of course the tools, then all of a sudden I was almost knocked to the floor! One of the Cart-People hit me, then just glared at me. Well, I can now see to run away, so I did. Now I believe Ralph's story! His story is coming soon. Meanwhile, somebody needs to teach these people common courtesy! Perhaps there should be a driving school, and don't forget the Cart Police giving those drivers tickets and fining them. Scary!


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Missing In Action

Now that I am back among the living, being able to see and all, back to the Grill and Bar it is. Expecting to get a big Welcome Home, nope, there were missing posters everywhere, with my picture on them. The manager said they had almost given up hope and declared me dead, or just very missing. All of this stirred my heart, so I asked for a beer.
I was able to catch up on the people that were always there, some moved away, and some just quit coming in. "What about Ralph" I asked? They told me that he had a run in with a bunch of people on carts at Wally World. "He is just not the same"he said. So I am going to call Ralph and get his side of the story, this should be a treat. So I will be back shortly with Ralph's tales of woe.


Now I Can See!!

It has now been several days since since the Dr.s surgically removed the impedance to my ability to see. Yes, at my tender age of 56, there was a cataract blocking my vision. Please believe me, I am not a big fan of the medical scene. There is no chance of me ever becoming a Dr.s' groupie. But the people at the hospital almost changed my mind. These people were outstanding, very friendly and the consummate professionals. I waited in the lobby until the time of the knife. My name was called and I was led back to pre-op. Funny thing, you walk in, but they roll you out, just askin? Anyway, back to the story. The Nurse hooked up the wires, put in the iv, perhaps because I was telling a lot of jokes and stirring things up, that is why nurse showed me what she could do with the iv port in my hand. Good stuff, whatever it was. They woke me up for the surgery and off we went to the OR. There was people in white standing around, chatting, until I got there, then the party began. They taped over my good eye, and taped the right eye wide-open, and covered the rest of my face for surgery. As I am laying there, thinking will this ever be over? All of a sudden there is this strange noise you only hear in science fiction movies, it sounded like they were having a Light-Sabre battle right there, in the OR! I started to speak to the Surgeon, he mumbled something, and back to sleep I went.
The next thing I recognize is the light in the ceiling, with a nurse standing over me, saying" Wake up Mango, they're done. It is time for you to go." Nothing seems different to me, can't see anything with my right eye. Duh! It comes to my attention that there is a huge patch on that eye. They put me in a wheelchair and roll me to the door. As the nurse kicks me out on the curb, she says "Don't forget your Dr. appt. in the am. He will take the bandage off, and don't do it yourself!" As I started pulling on the tape, the nurse said, rather mother-like " I SAID LEAVE IT ALONE, THE DOCTOR WILL TAKE THE BANDAGE OFF, TOMORROW!!" So I put my head down in shame, poor me, then got into the car and left.
Off to the house I go, a big nap is my goal. I wanted to sleep like a baby, because my face and the top top of my head were still numb and starting to sting from the party. I was completely exhausted! When I got home, I went in and fell across the bed, hoping for sweet relief. Mission accomplished. I woke up the next morning, giddy as kid on Christmas morning. My hopes were high, positive that it all was fixed and back to normal.. My friend picks me up and we head for the appointment. When I arrive there was no need for me to sign-in at the Dr.s, my reputation preceded me, to the lobby we go. After the pre-set time had passed, I reported back to the Dr.s office for the first follow up. At the unveiling , the official removal of the patch, there appeared to be 2 of everything. Which made me glad that a friend of mine drove me to the Dr. It would have been a nightmare if I had driven, the dually is a little wider than most cars, so it was a lot cheaper to buy his gas! So anyway, the vision being double, walking became a bit of a challenge. There was steep steps everywhere I went, I felt like a cat with socks on. Then the duh moment; Just close one eye, suddenly things are normal again, so then I was finally able to take the cat's socks off. Several days have now passed and things are getting normal again. It is so nice to have both eyes operating at the same time! Of course you know I had to say it, yes sir I did. I said " Doc, I thought I had ordered a Lincoln, I didn't know I was going to get a Cataract!" The Dr. just shook his head.


Sunday, July 11, 2010


The day is almost here that should change my life. Going to try to eliminate a handicap from my life. The doctors are going to do surgery on my right eye. This is the day, that I thought would never arrive! My fear was that for the rest of my days, my right eye would be blind. Now, when all this happened to me, it seemed that it was just a temporary result of the trauma I was going thru. Just stress, I knew it!! I am bullet proof. WRONG!!! Needless to say, the lack of one eye changes everything in your life, it destroys our ability to do just the simple thing that are part of life, eat, drive, play golf, even mow the grass. I went to a movie a while back, and I was asked if I wanted to go to the 3D version? Really? There is very little depth perception when you only have one eye. Well, there is no need to talk about the horrors of this malady. If you ever want to get the feel, get an eye patch from the pharmacy, leave it on for a day, then report back to me that it was easy. Yes sir, it is lucky me, it is over on Monday!!


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Are Things Changing?

I have noticed that several people that I follow on this Blog thing are calling it quits. The joy that is given to me by their words is a highlight to my day, I sure am gonna miss them! Some of the others, myself included, are not Blogging as often as they once did. Why?
I tend to think that we all get tired! Unlike some, who are self-important, that their ego drives them to share the perfect thoughts coming from their perfect minds, and the overwhelming need, to attack anyone who disagrees with them. Man, things are really screwed up right now! Don't start pointing a finger. It is not the fault of any one person, it is our fault for not being vigilant! We voted for the bastards! We are wanting and demanding more from government. The rich will pay. We complain about corporate greed! But we watch their movies, and TV programs. We buy their products, and use their banks.
If we are political all the time, what are we then? If we are always hammering about religion, is that all there is? Who is correct and has it all figured out? Back in the late 60's, there was this guy that stood on the same street corner, preaching at the top of his lungs! He did this for several months, and no one ever really knew what his message was.
I can only change me, no one else. My next step is make an old VW bug go a 100mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats. So remember, Go Mango, Go Mango, Go Mango Go!!
By the way, I am not done, I've got some new stories to share.


Monday, July 5, 2010

Middle Age Madness, My give a damn is broken!!! LOL

I have decided to take the challenge and make a 1950's VW Bug go over 100 mph. Some of you old enough will remember, how slow those old bugs were, holding up traffic, people honking trying to get those drivers to speed up. It was basically impossible to get a Speeding Ticket.
You might ask, well I did say might, what is so special about going 100mph in an old 1950s Bug? Did I mention the call of Fame and Glory and how intoxicating they can be! The sound of that sewing machine sized engine, humming along, it is better than a pace maker! I just get goose bumps thinking about that sound. The efforts needed to compete are substantial, the car must be an original car, and the engine must be a stock 36 hp, with no modifications! As a comparison, today's yard tractors have almost as much horsepower as these old Bugs have. The stock vehicle must be built perfectly within the factory specs. No aerodynamic modifications are allowed, and the car must be street legal with tags and inspection up to date. With the record standing right now at 75mph, the record going up about 2mph per year, it makes 100mph quite a reach! If we could use one of the late model engines that have over 200 hp, oh, that would be too easy and the challenge would cease to exist! So Fame and Glory here we come in a Stone Stock 36hp Bug!! Oh by the way, the picture is of another crazy old man's Bug, running the challenge.
I will provide updates and let all know what is happening, sharing my madness and boundless insanity.