Slogans

I heard about some possible new slogans for different groups. Some are pretty funny. Well, they are to me.

Procrastinators - Tomorrow is a dream, that's when we will do it..

PGA Golf - You have 18 holes to get it right.

U.S. Congress - Thanks for making us rich.

Nebraska - Corn rows, not just a hair style.

Oklahoma - If your white clothes are red now, You are here.

MADD - we all know this group, there is a new group started called DAMM - Drunks against Mad Mothers

Red River Shoot Out - Texas/OU game. When Texans play Texans

Grave Diggers - We are 6 foot deep in our business.

Lonely Hearts Club - Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

Hospitals - We bury our mistakes.

Masons - We can't tell you, it is a secret.

Old West Sheriffs - Our clients just hang around.

How about religions

Baptist - We take the Bible and slap the hell out of you.

Pentecostal - We do more than just roll in the aisles.

Catholic - Do you feel guilty? How about now?

Spiritualists - We will haunt you.

Morman - Our Bible is better than yours.

Muslim - Allah is love. Convert or we will kill you.

Tele-Evangelists - Send your money and gifts to God. Here, use my address.

Church of Christ - We are the only religion that is right. Sorry about your bad luck.

Then of course there is the I.R.S. - Trust us. We are here to help you.

Just Wondering

At my favorite neighborhood bar the conversation turned to talk about things we don't know or understand. Here is a list we came up with. Included are things we are thankful for.

• How can something small be called big, as in Jumbo-Shrimp?
• Why do most families have a black sheep?
• Why do most people thank a Cop for a citation?
• Why are some people always mean?
• It is said that when someone is grumpy in the morning that they got up on the wrong side of the bed. Which side is the wrong side, right or left?
• Why do bald guys do comb-overs?
• Why is one religion better than all the others?
• Is it still a lie if you say it a different way?
• Why do women shave their eyebrows, then paint them back on?
• Chocolate or Vanilla?
• Why we park on a driveway, but we drive on a parkway?
• If someone dies with the most toys wins, what does he win? Isn't he still dead?
• Why do dogs and cats fight?
• When did wrong become right, and who changed the rules?
• Why do people lie?
• If someone wins the lottery, does that make them a financial wizard?

But something we are thankful for: What if cows could fly?


Mango

People and their Pets

I was too lazy to write this story, so I just recorded it!
Hope you like it.

Mango

Aaarrrrgghhhhh!!!!!

• 

The empty suit

Loose dogs

Two-faced people

Lies

Hitting a swarm of bugs with a freshly waxed car

Rudeness

Getting up late

Being late

Laziness

Getting rushed

Cell phone drivers

Doctors being late to their appointments

Unbridled kids at the store

Dirty diapers laying in the parking lot

Cars parked in two spots

But the worst, sickness

These are things that get my goat!!


Mango

What Can I Truly Change?

I have been taught all my life that anyone can change and improve if they want to. We are not locked into what we are, unless that is what we want !
Other people can try to change us, but that never seems to work out. An old proverb that my grandmother taught me is, A person changed against his will, is of the same opinion still!
The only change that is real, is radical change. Meaning from the base up to the top. Attitude shifting is a real thing. That change comes from a deep rethink. If your change comes from a tragic event or from a joyous moment, it is more than likely, real and will last.
That change can come from a relationship with the creator. He did makes us and give us the ability to improve ourselves. As for me change is usually forced on me, because of behavior and wanting to stay 35 years old my whole life.

Mango

I Want a Do-Over -- Happy New Year

2009 is finally over and I want a do-over! This looks like an opportunity for a new start on this track that we call life. We just finished a year that will likely be used as a benchmark for future generations. Only time will tell, because history is written by the victorious!
Time is a human obsession to be able to measure everything. We celebrate birth dates, anniversaries, graduations, and of course, New Year. Realistically we don't become one year older, nor does a year evolve overnight. We just become 1 day older, nothing more. Time just marches on, and we can go with the march or just quit and die. Measuring time is a good way for we humans to see how things are changing. Am I doing okay? Will I succeed?

As for 2009, it was a year of major changes and challenges. Health, both physical and emotional. I met people that I wish that I hadn't. I met people that will be part of my life for the balance. I re met people that we had lost touch with each other. Friends that watched the utter nonsense of my life's events, powerless to change anything or save me from myself! 3 bouts of pneumonia, chronic hypertension, becoming blind in one eye, and even went dancing with the pig and his flu! My year looking back sucked in many ways, but at least it is over!

Now considering 2010, the excitement is back and building quickly. I only got 1 day older. Decisions have been made to make it a great year. Realistic goals are now set, the gun was fired, and I left the starting blocks and I am in stride as we speak!


Mango

Emergency Waiting Room Tales

Recently a friend of mine called and asked if I could pick her up at the hospital and take her to her vehicle. She was in the emergency room for a sudden and painful illness. I agreed and got under way to go get her. I arrived about 30 minutes later, she was still in the waiting room, waiting! I asked what was going on and she said she had been there an hour or better, still waiting to be seen.
Well, I was there, so I decided to wait for her, how long could it be? Some decisions we make are not very good, and this was one of those not very good ones. It was almost 2 hours later when she finally was taken to a room. Fast, huh! While she was in the room I decided that it was a good time to go get some supper.
Went to one of my favorite fast food places, Carl's Jr. I ate rather hurriedly because it should not be long till my friend was released, I reasoned. What a poor thought, she was not out yet when I got back. The only entertainment was to watch the crowd of people bitch about the wait, or play games on the laptop.
Playing games on the laptop was fun until the battery died. So watching was the only thing left to do. I looked at the clock, it was 4 hours since I had arrived. Man, am I ready to go. This entire episode was obviously written by a very cruel taskmaster! I am so ready to go, things to do, places to go, people to see, will this torment ever end? Perhaps my friend is dying, going in for surgery, maybe she is dead? There is only one thing to do, ask! Going up to the check-in is another thing, there is a rumor that people actually work there. It was a huge bother for them to stop chatting and come to the window. "Sorry to bother you" I said, " but did my friend die and nobody has been able to come tell me?" After all it had been almost 7 hours at that point. These wide awake people told me that she was indeed alive and would I like to go back in the ER. "Sure why not, my evening is already ruined, I did have an appointment with a cold beer and my bed"I mentioned, " take back please."
A nurse came and got me and led me to the room. When I arrived, she was sitting on the bed, mad as hell. She had seen the Dr. and he said there was nothing to worry about, she had been given some pain pills and was supposed to call her Dr the next day.
From that point it was another hour until she was released, the only Dr. on duty was sitting at the nurse's desk telling stories and jokes with the nurses and PAs. It is amazing this major hospital only has one Dr on duty in this ER. There is 20 beds, all full, and about 20 people in the waiting room.
My guess is that the bean counters on the board want to make as much and spend as little as is possible. Their road to success is paved over the graves of their patients!

Mango