More Bar and Grille Stories

This image reminded of a guy that was talking about his marriage and how much fun he and his wife have. They were always trying to please each other with gifts and surprises. This was just their way of enjoying their lives together , because they were so in love and enamored with each other.
George, that is the name we will call him, because we want to protect him against reprisal, for he swore to his wife he wouldn't tell this story, began his tale. The other night , his bride asked him to come into the bedroom because she had something for him. Knowing his wife, George rushed right in and shut the door. No kids allowed, you know. Well she came out wearing nothing but a brand new pair of Delta Burke slimming underwear, she had gotten a little larger in the 18 years of wedded bliss. Well George, seeing the sight, got a little frisky. "Come over here darlin" George said," and let me get a little closer to my new gift". Well the next thing you know he was trying to get his hand between the Delta Burkes and his wife. This he accomplished, but the the pain and agony began. George said that the first thing that happened was it felt like he was losing feeling in his hand, and it got to the point that it felt like he had put his hand into the vise! He said that he began to moan and yell, all the while his wife was asking whats wrong? Whats wrong? He yelled I am losing feeling in my hand, it hurts! His wife said I told you these are slimming pants. George told her that those were torture pants and he had never felt such pain. George said " I can't get my hand out. Please help me!" His wife grabbed hold of the Delta Burkes and began to pull with both hands, trying to loose the grip of those underwear. George screamed "Tell the kids to call 911, maybe they will bring the jaws of life. I can't take the pain anymore. I am about to pass out, and please take me to the hospital!" Eventually they freed his hand, and after George came to, he asked " do I still have my hand"?
Well our old friend George, survived this episode of life, a little worn, but no surgery was required. For that, he was thankful. George made the statement that paint is not as tight as those underwear, and his wife agreed to never wear those slimming pants ever again.

Just Laughing!

Lost Treasure (Dating Sites)

It looks like the days of looking to family and friends for help finding someone special, are almost gone. The Internet is the avenue that most people choose to search. It is convenient and private. But, there should be a Warning Label and training course for the new searchers. There are many different sites, fees that have to be paid, new terms to learn, new abbreviations. When you finish this course you should be awarded a PhD! In the training, it would be just like Boot camp. Your DI yelling at you, running you for miles. Just making your skin get thick. It is vicious out there in the search trenches! One subject that would be covered is motivation. Why are these people searching outside the sphere of friends? Are they just trying to expand the gene pool or do they have something to hide? Another subject would be terms these searchers use. Nsa, ddf, 420 friendly, ltr, fwb, hwp, and more. You would learn what these code letters mean and be able to make a somewhat intelligent choice on who to contact. An actual ad was running; SWF seeks SWM for LTR. Must be between 35 and 42 years old, no exceptions! 5' 10'' to 6' 5'', full head of hair, prefer blond, very athletic body, a professional, no children, loves to laugh. He will be very attentive to me and pamper me the way I should be! Financially strong, and willing to help me and my 3 sons, that still live with me. Their ages are 16, 19, and 22. About me. I am 5' 6", about 160 lbs. but the weight is in the right places. Really working hard on losing and I expect Mr. Wonderful to help me and motivate me to lose some more! Your picture will get mine. Hit me up and lets get started soon. Lonely in Texas. ( Bet the picture is a 10 year old Glamour shot, and they never looked that good!)
Now if this was an isolated ad, one could feel sorrow for them. Unfortunately this type ad is the norm! People threaten to drop their ad if the perfect one doesn't show soon, they have already seen 15 people and none of them was perfect! Wow, them dropping that ad would be a real blow to everyone. They want a Warranty, if the "One" turns out to not be the "One". Another line, if you don't fit my criteria, don't bother contacting me! Good Luck On Your Search.
Is everybody so blinded to what they are saying, how it wreaks of BS? There is no one that is thought to be perfect, but according to search sites there must be. The arrogance and selfishness of these people searching, is very funny.
This is just one silly example of what is out there and it is scary! Then there are the cougars, panthers, swingers, the BdSm crowd, name something weird it is out there for whomever to enjoy! Good Luck on Your Search!!

Just Avoiding the Bull!!

Counseling, Bar Stories, and Tall Tales

I went to eat a late lunch the other day at the only neighborhood bar and grille in our county. The burger bites and the bottomless chips and salsa makes any Texan's heart happy. The beer was very cold and the bartender was very nice and took very good care of me. She was entertained by the non-stop note taking. All she asked for was a nice review, no problem. Krystle is the absolute best!!
There were a lot of different people sitting at the bar and the various tables. Some bikers, with a lot of tattoos. Girls that were casually dressed with perfect hair. Rough necks, ranchers, this is just a typical crowd here in rural Texas. After surveying the crowd, the stories that were told were very entertaining. The girls talked about their multiple marriages, and how the evil man was the cause of the divorce, every time.
The guys talked about all the money that they had until that last wife was able to move it out of their joint account, into the boyfriends account. One guy talked about how he was driving home and saw a trailer loaded with furniture that looked like his. When he got home, his house was empty with the exception of his clothing. There stories of old bars that are now gone over in Dallas, and down in Ft. Worth, and how they are missed.
About fights that they got into with famous people and kicked the stink out of them. Stories about the Sportorium, the Von Erichs and all the other wrestlers that battled there. How tough those guys were and their tragic end. There was so many types of folks, the butterflys that went around talking to all, the paper readers that talked to no one. One patron left, and a panic ensued, the manager thought he had walked his tab. They searched franticlly for his credit card receipt, it was finally found and peace reined supreme. The ash trays were emptied and the trash can caught fire.
The political discussion was very entertaining, according to one guy, our governor is gay, because he was a yell leader at A&M. His marriage is a front to keep him in politics. Some hate Obama and think he is in trouble, others hate him worse. Another guy said that it really doesn't matter, the ship will right itself. There were people that would tell the others to call, but will not answer when they do. If we ever believe any bar talk, we will wear the biggest moron hat the world has ever seen, and it will be a tight fit! After about 2 hours, the first group was gone and a new group came in. But that is a different story!

Just Listening

Rudolph Valentino

Yesterday was the 83rd anniversary of Valentino's death. You might say what has this got to do with anything? It was a reminder of the stories that Grandmother told us when we young. She talked about the pain all the women felt when he died. How some women even committed suicide. He was the first superstar of cinema and an Idol to Grandmother, she talked of the sadness she had! The sadness was one of her secrets, after all, she was a young woman in 1926. All of the movies and media where still new at that time and the media was just starting to get out to the small cities and towns.
Grandmother(Minnie Baldridge Wilkerson) was quite a story teller. She would use the most vivid and understandable words and phrases. This woman had a very profound and extensive grasp on the English language.
As we sat at the table, eating fresh homemade bread with home churned butter, she began to tell the story of her life. Those stories were so wonderful and none of us ever wanted to leave when she spoke. The woman was so full of compassion that the soothing words of her speech just caused us to sit and listen closely! She began with the fact of her birth in a log cabin in NW Arkansas in 1897. She was from a large family that did not realize that they were poor. Most people of that time had very few things or could be called wealthy. Her father, Matt Baldridge was a Methodist Minister that would preach his circuit of churches. We could only imagine what it was like for her to stand and look up the road for her daddy to get home, wondering if he was okay. When is he going to get back? She never labored the point of sadness, the loneliness, or the separation, only the joy of his return.
She told of the time that, her husband, our Grandfather was in France in 1917 & 1918. While he was gone those two years, she told us in secret, that she smoked cigarettes! She never told her own children about that episode of her life! She talked about the first time she saw an electric light and the marvel that it was. The first time she saw an automobile and the racket that it made, the smoke and the smells. The first movie, how it was so enchanting to see the moving pictures that looked so real, that she felt like she was there watching in person!
The most impressive thing to her young life is when saw her first aeroplane. That is the way she spoke it and wrote the word. How she wanted to fly and be like a bird and look down from the heavens. She told of the sacrifices of all, during WW II, standing at the train station, handing out cokes to the troops until her money would run out! But she said, nothing is as profound as man walking on the moon! It was like a dream when she saw it on TV. She continued to tell us that in her life people had gone from horse and carriage to rocket ships, from newspapers to radio and TV, but the one thing had not changed and never would change, the Lord! She went to be with her Lord in 1980, a sad but wonderful day. Thank You Grandmother for the wisdom you shared with us!!!!

Just My Hero!!!

Do I Ever Have The Blues?

Blues or depression. the last 5 weeks of my life have been tumultuous , put mildly. There have been really, really great highs, followed by the worst bottom of barrel lows that I could imagine! I wanted to blame everyone and everything around me. Then I would believe that I was the pond scum that brought it all on! Things that I dreaded the worst happened. The things that were hoped for never materialized the way I had wanted and dreamed. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails. I felt as if I was drifting in the Horse Latitudes in the Atlantic, days away from land and rescue. Woe unto me! Oh woes unto me! What an unimaginable feeling of despair! As I sat worrying about poor little me. In the midst of my pity party, I decided to take an online depression test, and this proved to be a handy tool for me. I was just sure that there was something clinically wrong with me! I took the test, it said that I was suffering a case of the Blues. Nothing abnormal at all. No major problem.
Then as I pondered the results, and the non-problem, That inner voice spoke," grow up selfish"! So I answered, "What"? Yes there was a reply, " Get over not getting your way. You still have goals and work that needs to get done. You are letting other people down that need you and care about you. Now, just do it"! It sure felt like the Lord was talking to me, and I didn't know he is from Texas.
I once told a good friend of mine," Don't be so spiritually minded that you are no earthly good!" It was a rude thing to say, and we reap what we sow. The Lord told me," Don't be so earthly minded that you are no spiritual good!" By allowing my selfishness to rule my life, it allowed the Blues to get control of me! All of this knowledge was like a miracle pill that started cleansing my mind and soul. Look for balance is what the Lord told me. Now I can make my bed and get ready to do some things I have avoided. The more I accept things the better I do.
Oh by the way, my score was a 31 out of a 100.

Just a Big Baby.

Tips

Tips are a hot subject for those who help us at the different places we go to eat. Eavesdrop and I am sure that some stories will be heard.
We can only imagine the bull these people put up with and still keep smiling. The wait staff knows who pays the bulk of their income, and it ain't the restaurant. I have been waited on by so many different types that I will only cover a few.
The super friendly and nice one, that can't get it right if you write down for them. But we still tip them because they are so nice. Another is the why are you bothering me type. Too busy trying to hit on some girl at another table, don't bother him, he is busy. Time to ask the manager for someone different! How about the phony friendly type, over the top, trying make you feel welcome and pampered! Not so sure about this one, they get a tip, but the normal percentage! Then there are the waiters that seem to just blend in with your group and make you feel like they are family. These guys and girls are very good and very smart! I always tip these people very well and am glad to do it.
I suppose that getting a waiter that suits you and me is as much luck as it is training. Kinda like finding a mate, but that is a different story.

Just Waiting, Tip not Included!

Au Revoir or Adieu

Has it ever happened to you, where the goodbye just said, you knew it might be for good? When a friend moved away and you got that sick feeling that this was the last time the two of you would ever see each other? It was so obvious that it was the end! There might have been a loved one that was racked with a horrible disease, that the Doctor said that it was terminal, what can you do, but say Good Bye? You might have had a psychic moment and believe that a friend that is about to leave on a trip will never return! Many are the stories and circumstances that compose sorrowful goodbyes.
There have been many sorrowful goodbyes in my life that were final goodbyes. My Dad, a best friend, and worst of all my wife! Every event was painful and emotional in its own way. This is a experience that I just don't want to have again in my life. The pain is something that I pray is never felt again. Just wishful thinking, it will never stop. Goodbyes never stop or cease to occur, because life never stops just because of our pain. Life is ever evolving and changing, and that is always going to be the fact. Somethings we will never understand!
Recently, I went to visit a very dear and close friend. Actually we were more than friends. I was so joyous and happy to see her, but something had changed and things were not right. The attitude was different, the things we had talked about just hours before were now moot. The enthusiasm was gone and there was no joy. Life is like that, throwing curve balls until we strike out! The only thing left to be said is that when we hugged and kissed goodbye, it was like I was was hit with a hammer. This may have been our last goodbye!

Just Saying Goodbye!