Thursday, August 20, 2009

Au Revoir or Adieu

Has it ever happened to you, where the goodbye just said, you knew it might be for good? When a friend moved away and you got that sick feeling that this was the last time the two of you would ever see each other? It was so obvious that it was the end! There might have been a loved one that was racked with a horrible disease, that the Doctor said that it was terminal, what can you do, but say Good Bye? You might have had a psychic moment and believe that a friend that is about to leave on a trip will never return! Many are the stories and circumstances that compose sorrowful goodbyes.
There have been many sorrowful goodbyes in my life that were final goodbyes. My Dad, a best friend, and worst of all my wife! Every event was painful and emotional in its own way. This is a experience that I just don't want to have again in my life. The pain is something that I pray is never felt again. Just wishful thinking, it will never stop. Goodbyes never stop or cease to occur, because life never stops just because of our pain. Life is ever evolving and changing, and that is always going to be the fact. Somethings we will never understand!
Recently, I went to visit a very dear and close friend. Actually we were more than friends. I was so joyous and happy to see her, but something had changed and things were not right. The attitude was different, the things we had talked about just hours before were now moot. The enthusiasm was gone and there was no joy. Life is like that, throwing curve balls until we strike out! The only thing left to be said is that when we hugged and kissed goodbye, it was like I was was hit with a hammer. This may have been our last goodbye!

Just Saying Goodbye!


Gator said...

Very good post, Mango. Very timely for me that you posted this today. Sometimes a person doesn't even get a goodbye. Just today coming back from Bowie Aubree and I did a little drive by on our old house & saw my mother outside on her patio (we were neighbors for 10 years). We have had our differences in the past and seems that she never really approved of my life decisions. Instead of accepting me the way I am, mistakes and all she has made the decision that I'm not to be a part of her life anymore. She's not in the best of health so I think back to the last interaction we had and it wasn't a good memory. But, there she stood...she was so close, yet I couldn't stop. She made a decision that has impacted my entire family and I'm trying very hard to respect her wishes. I thought I had made my peace with the whole mess, but there I was...laughing one moment with my daughter and the very next I feel my face fall, my smile change, my eyes starting to fill. Then I feel all the pain come back. Seeing her outside on her patio I felt my heart sink and get heavy knowing I couldn't stop for a visit or share what's going on in my life. I couldn't stop and share what her grand-daughter and I were just cracking up about. That's tough to swallow. At least with a goodbye, you have that memory to hold onto and cherish...

Mango's Madness said...

Gator,my sweet loving friend, I have basically the same thing with my mother. Do I ever feel your pain on a first hand basis. All we can do is love the Lord and hold on to the hope that everything will work out!

Gator said...

You and Denney must be long lost brothers of guys are such kind souls.

Some days I think I've overcome it's a battle everyday to not subcumb to the depression that seems to nip at my heels. Most days are better than others nowadays and I'm very thankful for that. I make a conscience decision everyday to wake up and make the day the absolute best it can be for me, my family and do it ALL for His glory. I guess there is a reason for it all...all the crap I've lived through (the alternative would suck big ones, so it's a blessing to be able to say I've actually lived through it. I like the person I've become and I wouldn't be me without all the trials I've experienced, but dang...some times I would just like to have a little taste of a pain-free, drama-free life just to see how the other half lives... :)

MarmiteToasty said...

I to had this with my mother..... and she died without me having seen her (except from a distance across the street), I couldnt even go to her funeral for a final goodbye because of sibling nonsense..... so I had to say my goodbyes in our little village church whilst she was being laid to rest else where........ this also happened 10 weeks earlier when my father died.... they died within 10 weeks of each other..... no goodbyes, no funerals.... no nuffins....... I can not change who they were, I just couldnt accept that they wanted to change whom I was...... so we went our seperate ways..... and they lived a much less life those last few years without me and my 4 sons in their lives.... and there was not a dam thing I could do about it....... and believe me, I so tried..