Monday, August 31, 2009

More Bar and Grille Stories

This image reminded of a guy that was talking about his marriage and how much fun he and his wife have. They were always trying to please each other with gifts and surprises. This was just their way of enjoying their lives together , because they were so in love and enamored with each other.
George, that is the name we will call him, because we want to protect him against reprisal, for he swore to his wife he wouldn't tell this story, began his tale. The other night , his bride asked him to come into the bedroom because she had something for him. Knowing his wife, George rushed right in and shut the door. No kids allowed, you know. Well she came out wearing nothing but a brand new pair of Delta Burke slimming underwear, she had gotten a little larger in the 18 years of wedded bliss. Well George, seeing the sight, got a little frisky. "Come over here darlin" George said," and let me get a little closer to my new gift". Well the next thing you know he was trying to get his hand between the Delta Burkes and his wife. This he accomplished, but the the pain and agony began. George said that the first thing that happened was it felt like he was losing feeling in his hand, and it got to the point that it felt like he had put his hand into the vise! He said that he began to moan and yell, all the while his wife was asking whats wrong? Whats wrong? He yelled I am losing feeling in my hand, it hurts! His wife said I told you these are slimming pants. George told her that those were torture pants and he had never felt such pain. George said " I can't get my hand out. Please help me!" His wife grabbed hold of the Delta Burkes and began to pull with both hands, trying to loose the grip of those underwear. George screamed "Tell the kids to call 911, maybe they will bring the jaws of life. I can't take the pain anymore. I am about to pass out, and please take me to the hospital!" Eventually they freed his hand, and after George came to, he asked " do I still have my hand"?
Well our old friend George, survived this episode of life, a little worn, but no surgery was required. For that, he was thankful. George made the statement that paint is not as tight as those underwear, and his wife agreed to never wear those slimming pants ever again.

Just Laughing!


Karen said...

This sounds so familar. I even own the Delta Burke underwear. I guess I need to ge4t rid of them. Love the story!!!

Kate said...

rofl! I'd never heard of them, so I'll take this as a warning.

Anonymous said...

Delta Burke underware, Now that is funny...

Anonymous said...

"No matter how much you accomplish in life or how good and caring type of person that you are,
there are 10 billion chinese people that don't give a shit."