Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pancho Grande and the Religious Cult






A buddy of mine, we will call him Ralph, has a Rat Terrier that was raised with 3 Chihuahuas. Ralph swears that this dog barks in Spanish! He might be right, this dog is something beyond a normal lap dog. And things became different, when his wife took the dog to the Vet, and had him neutered at one year old. And he now swears the dog can now talk, but only to him! Maybe Ralph is a 60's holdout.
Ralph was telling me of a conversation he and his dog had, involving a new religious group the dog was about to join. They accepted all breeds of dogs and believed that cats did not have the right to be on this earth. Pancho said,"I used to like cats until that leetle cat scratched my nose. Now I hate theeem". Ralph tried to reason with Pancho, but to no avail. The dog had already added to his name to show his beliefs. His new name was Pancho "Grande" but he preferred the English word big. He told Ralph to now refer to him as Pancho Beeeg.
Ralph asked Pancho Beeeg what was some of the benefits of this cult. He was told that if they give their life in service to this faith, they would be able to drink from the Canine Fountain of Life. When they drink from this fountain, all the things removed from them would be restored. Not only that, he would be given 25 Poodles for his pleasure, and he said that is worth dieing for. Ralph asked him what did the faith hope to accomplish? Pancho replied that they would rid the earth of all cats of all sizes and varieties. From an Alley Cat to a Tiger. It is risky, but it is so worth it.
Also his faith would fight to make cars safer to chase, towels in the hubcaps would not be allowed. The Postman, meter readers, paperboys, joggers, or anyone else would not be allowed to use pepper spray or carry sticks. They believe that if they want to bite, they should be allowed to.
Pancho also said that in time that dogs would rule the earth, and mankind would be their slaves and servants. He told Ralph that he would be allowed to learn to fetch, rollover and such, because Pancho likes him. Now about Ralph's wife, that is a different story, the dog figured he would just pee on her leg and let the other dogs take her away. Pancho is still upset about that trip to the Vet. Finally, Ralph could not take it any more and he asked, "what is the name of this faith"? Pancho said to Ralph "it is called la eliminacion de los perros de los gatos". Ralph then asked "what does that mean"? Pancho said to his friend " dogs keel the gatos"! " Do you have a uniform" asked Ralph? Pancho replied " Oh yess, we wear white hooods and shirts so the gatos won't know who we are"!
Ralph was blown away with his new found knowledge about his dog. So upset was he, that it actually made him start thinking. If this craziness can infect my dog and his thinking, maybe I should check on what Ralph Jr. is reading and listening to.
Poor Ralph, maybe he will get the gate shut before the cows get out!
Mango















Tuesday, September 29, 2009

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy


The words to the title are the main story line to a current country song. But the truth in this statement is profound! We are inundated with stories of crime. Murder, robbery, car jacking, vandalism, terrorism, you name it, it is happening! People are so crazy that killing themselves for some off the wall religion is acceptable. Do you remember those cult members in Garland Texas, that committed mass suicide because the space ship was on its way to pick them up. But they made sure to have their new tennis shoes on.
Kids blowing themselves to kingdom come for reasons only their Iman knows for sure. If it is so glorious, why don't the Leaders do it first? Come on guys, lead by example!
Honor killings, because the daughter did not date the one picked out for her at birth. These people need to leave our country, because they do not feel subject to our laws and behavior standards. When I have had conversations with different people, they always bring up "in my country". That usually ends the discussion. Go talk to the Left, the bleeding hearts that believe that the immigrant's native laws apply more than ours.
Speaking of beer, a wonderful adult beverage. It seems now that none of our major brewers are American owned or operated. Why in the name of all that bubbles have we been sold out? We now have insane laws about beer and its consumption. Yet by the same token, the dry towns are now wet. Do you think that revenue is the driving force? Without all the DWI arrests, how could these city fathers build monuments to themselves. Oh, I guess it is concern for (fill in the blank) and surely it could not be greed. Tax and spend.
Then we need to talk about God. God is the name that mankind has given to the creator, but we can not truly know the mind of God! I have heard it said that God does not care. He does care a lot, but to put in Mangoism, we are similar to balls being rolled down a hill. How you might ask, well let me tell you, once you turn loose of the balls, there is no longer anyway to control them. Once our feet hit Terra-firma, we are in control of our own destiny. Nobody is given a get out of death free card.

Mango

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Soupy Sales


Soupy Sales has been around since long before I was born. He started in clubs as a comedian in Cincinnati in the early 1940's. His wit was very acerbic and biting, with a lot of innuendo! Lunch with Soupy was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid. One of his frequent guests was White Fang, the biggest and the meanest dog on Earth! White Fang would talk to Soupy in dog-speak, then Soupy would translate. The story goes that once White Fang asked the question "what begins withe the letter F, and ends withe the letters uck?" Soupy said he didn't know, and White Fang said " Fire Truck, are you stupid?"

It is this misdirection and innuendo that is being thrown at we the people from every angle, today!

From the largest crowd in NFL regular season history, to the Muslim March, The Million Man March, ad nauseum. This country loves to be deceived and lied to. It has to be a fact, look at the people they elect to lead us. Crooks, every last one of them, yet they still have control of this country. They lead with lies, and falsehoods! But we should all know what they intend.
At least we knew what Soupy was up to, and it was all play. He is a genuine and honest man, and always has been. None of the racy stories has ever been proven about his show. He must have a very good guide for his life. I wonder who these politicians have for a guide?


Mango

Friday, September 25, 2009

Moving

I am in the midst of moving, so I have neglected my duties at the keyboard. Please check back soon because the move is almost done!

Mango

Monday, September 21, 2009

Questionable Wisdom





Hippies are a part of life here in the US. Whether you grew up with them, you were a hippie, or you were raised by one! Regardless if you agreed or not, Hippies had there own form of wisdom, which was simple. As in; Make love, not war. You are on the bus or off. Go with the flow. Feed them your dreams. You create your own reality. Common terms today, but were they ever controversial 40 years ago.


The other day I overheard a mother and daughter talking. It was while they were shopping for shoes at a high end department store. The mother was trying on some very elegant high heels. The daughter, about 30 years old and very over weight, loudly spoke to her mother "don't get those high heels, they will give you Plantars Fasciitis. Besides that, high heels hurt my feet"! The mother replied, "that sounds like something only fat people will say"! The daughter was offering what she perceived to be wisdom, but what an ass, she made of herself!


The source of wisdom is usually experience, but not always a good experience. I love to learn, but not the hard way. But, for some reason, it is required for me to learn like the overweight daughter did. Wearing my words like a badge of dishonor! How many times have we said things that we thought every one that could hear us, would stand and declare us to be the wisest, most sage, of this generation. Only to be embarrassed by how stupid we sounded. What we said made absolutely no sense at all. Such a moment to cherish!



When I listen to these people that are in charge. Because we elected them, spout some outright lies to us, then try to pass off what they said as wisdom, I wish they could feel the ridicule like the heavy girl felt the other day. Why cant they get it. If what they say goes against common sense, how can that be wisdom. If you owe a thousand dollars, that you can't pay, how is borrowing another thousand going to fix the fact that you can't pay the first thousand? These people say we just are not capable of understanding such things. Once again, where is the common sense?



Let me sum up my Madness in these last few word. If it is wisdom you seek, as we all should, wisdom never disagrees with common sense. Lies are still lies, and you will never prove to an idiot, that they are an idiot!!!



Just Mango!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Texas is Special!

It is amazing how the values and morals of people change. They either improve or denigrate to horrible lows. Think of those brave men that stood for us at the Alamo, against odds that would make most modern people, run and hide. The courage needed for such a task is almost completely missing from today's society. Thank God it fell to those men! If it were to be the same situation today, the lawyers, civil rights groups, and the bleeding hearts would be crying to the high heavens, begging for a civil, and war-free agreement. Today's people are so passive that they would rather live in bondage, than offend their enemy's, or their own children. It might damage their self esteem, and make them violent towards them. Once again it seems like fear to me!
What has caused this wonderful nation to become so greed stricken, fearful, and complacent, to take this horrifying tumble down this slippy slope to oblivion? The lack of a real vision or a unifying goal! I see people come from other country's and become big in business. Why, because they have drive, and are not afraid of offending their competition. They, as a group of people, stick together, and do business with their own. What is wrong with that, nothing. There have always been divides in human kind, and there always will be. It is not the color of skin, it is the cultural differences that divide. Until we have one culture, it will remain that way. There is no way that laws will make people unify! It is the laws that are meant for good, that ultimately divide people. One group feels slighted, while the other has things handed to it. It is amazing that people get into public office and they feel as if they are empowered to do things the way they see them, and will benefit them the most. There used to be statesmen that worked for this country. I suppose that if there any left, they are being pushed aside by the rich, and the agendas they are pushing!
The only thing that will unify this country, is a common goal, surviving an attack from someone trying to take over and destroy our country and culture. The original settlers of Texas were a motley crew of people from all over the world. So diverse, that there were several different languages spoken in the colony. But what unified the Texas cultural was adversity, in the form of an enemy from the south, Santa Anna!
His goal was to make himself the ruler of all the west. He felt as if he was ordained of God to rule with an Iron Fist. The people of Texas, unified and fought, and destroyed the tyrant's dreams. Hopelessly outnumbered by the enemy. As a result of these brave men and their sacrifice, we have Texas. We became one culture, and we are proud to be called Texans. I see a new Santa Anna in power, with the same goals and dreams. It appears that he is hell bent on destroying our culture! It is our move! TEXANS UNITE!!!!!

Remember the Alamo and Goliad!!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Time Changes Us


Things change as we age. Bits and pieces of our body don't function like they once did. Our knees get stiff. Our backs hurt, it becomes hard to remember the everyday things of life. It is tough to shake hands, because of the pain in our hands. Life becomes a challenge to just function.


This reminds me of a story. An old friend told me of a conversation he overheard in the, We Are Not Dead Yet nursing home he lives in. There are 3 guys that live there, all of them widowers, and life long friends. Coffee together every morning at 8:30 sharp. They talk about old times, the politics of the day, pretty much everything they can think of. Time is something they have lots of. One morning, one of the guys said to the other two," you know boys, if there is anything I wish I could do, it would be to have a good pee! It is always a struggle and it never works the way it should. It is such a pain, I just wish I could have a good pee"! "Well, "the second of the guys said " since it is true confessions this morning, I wish I could have a good movement. I take salts, laxatives, and anything else that can be imagined, but nothing helps! I struggle with bloating, constipation, and untold pain, nothing is working. I just wish I could have a good movement"! The third friend finally took his turn. "Well boys"said the third friend, "every morning at 6:00 I have a good pee! Everything just works the way it is supposed to, no problems! Then every morning at 7:30 I have a perfect movement. None of the problems that most of the people our age have. I don't have to take any laxatives or anything." The other two friends are feeling a little jealous at this time. Finally the third friend says" But you know what I wish boys? I just wish that I could wake up before 8:00!"
Just Wishing

Monday, September 14, 2009

Release Your Seatbelt!


Listening in on conversations the other day at my favorite Bar & Grille, I was once again amazed at some of the things said. One guy talked about his old lady, "she talks too much"! Another guy said that his wife spent to much at Wally World. The amount of gripes overheard was mind boggling and made me think what was wrong with these women.
The guy with the talking wife, wanted to find a way to stop the conversation when he was driving. What could he use? He was serious, but I wondered how could his wife talk too much? Nobody could get a word in edgewise with him, he never shut up! The guy griping about his wife spending so much shopping, was drinking and eating the best offered, and plenty of it!
This was a reminder of a story I once heard; One Sunday morning, in a small country church, the Devil came to visit! This was a typical white board building with a center aisle and windows on all the walls. The Devil made his presence known by kicking open the front doors and growling like a Lion. As he made his way down the middle aisle, people were jumping out of windows, the preacher was hanging onto the pulpit and shaking like a wet dog. As the Devil got closer, the preacher turned loose and jumped out of a window like the rest, except for one old man! Satan stood behind the pulpit and roared at the old man. The old man never even flinched. Satan said "do you know who I am?" The old man said "yes I do". "Aren't you afraid of me? Don't you know my powers" asked Satan? "So what" said the old man. Satan asked the old man why he wasn't afraid. The old man continued" I have been married to your sister for 58 years, and trust me, she is meaner than you"!
So earlier when I was wondering what was wrong with those women, it was only about their judgement when comes to men!!


Just Unbelievable

Friendship

Chinese for friendship.
In our lives we have had many friends. In the first grade my best friend was Phil Brown. But as time went on and we moved, the mantle was placed on the shoulders of John Spurlock, and that friendship lasted until our late twenty's! Great guy that would do anything to help me at any time. But time changed things again, moves, marriage and so on! As age started speeding up, the qualities wanted in a friend changed too, different values and life changes endured!
The best friend that I hang with has been around now for 20 years or more. He helped me when I was down from heart surgery, he cried with me when my wife died. He is never far away, always with a cold adult beverage in hand. I just want people to stop and remember those that have been in our lives and helped shape us into who we are. They have done more than we can ever measure. What would we have been if they weren't there?
So in appreciation, I tip my hat to,FRIENDS! Thanks, OLC, for being there all along!

Just Friends

Friday, September 4, 2009

They Know You are Coming!


I was visiting with a friend of mine the other day. The normal conversation, politics, religion, and of course the weather, like we could change anything. It wasn't long until the subject of the end came up. He asked if I was getting all the letters from funeral homes and cemetery's the way he was. Well of course, the mail box is full of that stuff, plots for sale, prepaid funerals, death insurance for our families and our spouses.


We discussed the descriptions that the cemetery's gave of the view, the old growth trees, the gentle stream that runs thru the area. "Do you think that we will see where we spend the rest of time" I asked him? His answer was "are you kidding me, when you are gone, you are gone"! "Well, how about the funeral homes and their super duper caskets, made of hand rubbed walnut and all the padding" I asked? Once again he said"are you kidding me, do you really think that we will feel that comfort"?


Our conversation continued after we changed the subject. But after a few minutes, when it was time to hang up, my friend said " what a business death is, we don't get to make any choices unless we pre-plan, and we might as well do it. After all, they do know that we are coming"!




Just Avoiding!!