Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pancho Grande and the Religious Cult

A buddy of mine, we will call him Ralph, has a Rat Terrier that was raised with 3 Chihuahuas. Ralph swears that this dog barks in Spanish! He might be right, this dog is something beyond a normal lap dog. And things became different, when his wife took the dog to the Vet, and had him neutered at one year old. And he now swears the dog can now talk, but only to him! Maybe Ralph is a 60's holdout.
Ralph was telling me of a conversation he and his dog had, involving a new religious group the dog was about to join. They accepted all breeds of dogs and believed that cats did not have the right to be on this earth. Pancho said,"I used to like cats until that leetle cat scratched my nose. Now I hate theeem". Ralph tried to reason with Pancho, but to no avail. The dog had already added to his name to show his beliefs. His new name was Pancho "Grande" but he preferred the English word big. He told Ralph to now refer to him as Pancho Beeeg.
Ralph asked Pancho Beeeg what was some of the benefits of this cult. He was told that if they give their life in service to this faith, they would be able to drink from the Canine Fountain of Life. When they drink from this fountain, all the things removed from them would be restored. Not only that, he would be given 25 Poodles for his pleasure, and he said that is worth dieing for. Ralph asked him what did the faith hope to accomplish? Pancho replied that they would rid the earth of all cats of all sizes and varieties. From an Alley Cat to a Tiger. It is risky, but it is so worth it.
Also his faith would fight to make cars safer to chase, towels in the hubcaps would not be allowed. The Postman, meter readers, paperboys, joggers, or anyone else would not be allowed to use pepper spray or carry sticks. They believe that if they want to bite, they should be allowed to.
Pancho also said that in time that dogs would rule the earth, and mankind would be their slaves and servants. He told Ralph that he would be allowed to learn to fetch, rollover and such, because Pancho likes him. Now about Ralph's wife, that is a different story, the dog figured he would just pee on her leg and let the other dogs take her away. Pancho is still upset about that trip to the Vet. Finally, Ralph could not take it any more and he asked, "what is the name of this faith"? Pancho said to Ralph "it is called la eliminacion de los perros de los gatos". Ralph then asked "what does that mean"? Pancho said to his friend " dogs keel the gatos"! " Do you have a uniform" asked Ralph? Pancho replied " Oh yess, we wear white hooods and shirts so the gatos won't know who we are"!
Ralph was blown away with his new found knowledge about his dog. So upset was he, that it actually made him start thinking. If this craziness can infect my dog and his thinking, maybe I should check on what Ralph Jr. is reading and listening to.
Poor Ralph, maybe he will get the gate shut before the cows get out!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So true...more parents need to be involved & at least interested in what their kids are doing, reading, watching, surfing & downloading. Kids can't always say it but they really want us involved in what they are doing. To help a child or young adult find his/her footprints in life is truely one of the most important jobs we have.